Is it rude to step away from loud conversations? I honestly can’t tell.
By Eli Mercer on
I was diagnosed Autistic since I was 18, and I’m still learning social rules that seem obvious to everyone else but feel like a maze to me.
Something happened recently that I can’t stop thinking about.
I was with a small group of coworkers during a break I’m still new at the job, so I’m trying to socialize and ease in slowly. The group started chatting excitedly, but within a few minutes the noise level went from normal to chaotic. Everyone talking over each other, laughing loudly, jumping between topics… and my brain just checked out.
It was one of those moments where the sound feels like it’s physically pressing on you.I could feel myself getting overstimulated fast. So instead of sitting there frozen or shutting down, I quietly stepped away and went outside for some air.
A few minutes later, one of the girls came out and said, “Did we do something? It was kind of rude to just walk off.” She wasn’t mean about it, but she definitely seemed offended.
I explained that I get sensory overload and needed a minute, but she looked confused, like that wasn’t a valid reason.
Now I’m stuck wondering: Is stepping away without explanation actually rude? Am I supposed to announce my sensory limits every time? Or stay there and melt down so I don’t hurt feelings?
I genuinely wasn’t upset with anyone I just needed to leave before my brain crashed.