When your own parent talks about autism like it’s a disease
By Real Ray C on
There’s a recurring issue with my mother that I can’t seem to shake. No matter how many times I try to explain what Autism Spectrum Disorder actually is, she keeps framing it as something I’m “sick” with.
I recently overheard her on a phone call, speaking about me as if autism is the same as having the flu or some chronic medical problem. She said it so casually, like it was an obvious fact. Hearing that stung more than I expected. It’s not just a harmless word choice to me, it reveals how she views my brain and, by extension, me.
I understand that a lot of people don’t bother with precise language. To them, labels blur together and it all feels academic. But autism isn’t something that invaded my body or something doctors are trying to eliminate. It’s how my nervous system developed. It affects how I process sound, handle social situations, manage routines, and regulate energy. None of that makes me “ill."
What’s hardest is the feeling of being talked over. When I try to clarify, it's brushed off as if I’m nitpicking or being dramatic. It feels like my reality carries less weight than her assumptions. I’m not looking for sympathy or a cure. I’m looking for basic understanding.
Perhaps for some parents, labelling it an illness makes it easier to cope. Maybe it fits neatly into how they were taught to think about health. Still, it creates distance, and I’m left feeling misunderstood in my own family.