I was called “weird” in high school...

I struggled a lot with making friends. I didn’t always know what to say, when to jump into conversations, or how to act in a way that felt “normal” to everyone else. I was lucky enough to find a small group of people who accepted me eventually, and I’m grateful for that. Most people who actually got to know me would say I was kind, thoughtful, and genuine.

But what still sticks with me, even years later, are the moments when I’d overhear people saying I was “weird” when they thought I couldn’t hear them.

Those comments land differently when you’re autistic. You already know you move through the world differently. You already spend so much energy masking, observing, adjusting. Hearing that word weird confirms the fear that no matter how kind you are, you’re still being judged for things you can’t change.

With the holidays here, those memories come back more than I expect. Christmas is supposed to be about togetherness, but it also means group gatherings, parties, and old classmates popping back up. It’s a reminder of how isolating those years felt and how much effort it took just to belong.

At the same time, this season has made me reflect on growth. I’ve learned that finding “your people” doesn’t mean being liked by everyone. It means being accepted without having to perform. The friends I have now value my kindness, my honesty, and even the traits that once got me labeled as strange.