How often do autistic burnouts happen? Because this one is breaking me
By Eli Mercer on
How often do you experience burnout? I’m asking because this is the first time I’ve gone through what I now realize is autistic burnout, and it feels like it’s destroying me.
Sometimes, I feel just “tired” or “stressed.” But this is different. I’m exhausted in a way sleep doesn’t fix. My brain feels foggy and slow, my emotions are right under the surface, and things I used to manage basic tasks, conversations, even existing around people now feel overwhelming.
It’s scary because I didn’t see it coming. I’ve spent so long masking, pushing through, meeting expectations, telling myself I was fine because that’s what I’ve always done. And now it feels like my system just… shut down. My tolerance is gone. My energy is gone. My ability to pretend everything is okay is completely gone.
What hurts the most is trying to explain this to people who don’t get it. From the outside, it probably looks like I’m being lazy or dramatic or “not trying hard enough.” Inside, it feels like my nervous system is on fire and my brain is screaming for rest, silence, and safety.
I keep wondering if this is something that happens regularly or if it’s hitting this hard because I’ve ignored the signs for so long. I don’t recognize myself right now, and that’s terrifying. I want to recover, but I don’t even know what recovery is supposed to look like.