Anyone else on the spectrum struggle hard when traditions or routines suddenly change?
By Real Ray C on
At the beginning of this year, I had a really hard time because a lot of long-standing traditions changed all at once. Things like holiday plans shifting, family gatherings happening at different times or locations, work schedules being adjusted, and even simple stuff like stores changing hours. For most people, these are “small” changes. For me, they felt huge.
I’m autistic, and routine is how my brain stays regulated. I rely on predictability to feel grounded. When traditions change especially around holidays, it’s not just disappointment. It feels like the mental map I depend on disappears, which often leads to overwhelm or shutdown.
One thing I really struggle with is sudden schedule changes, especially when plans are last-minute or unclear. Being told “we’ll figure it out later” instead of having a clear plan makes my anxiety spike, and I end up mentally rehearsing every possible outcome.
So I wanted to ask: how do you cope with changes to routine in general, and especially for big dates like holidays or birthdays?
Have you found ways to prepare mentally, set boundaries, or create replacement routines when the original ones change? I’d really like to hear what has helped other autistic people navigate this.