Thinking about my son’s future keeps me up at night
By Charlotte on
My son is the kind of child who loves people openly. He doesn’t have a guard up. He’s affectionate, talkative, and assumes the best in others. And while that’s one of the things I love most about him, it also scares me. Some kids don’t know how to handle that kind of friendliness. Some are mean. Some take advantage. Watching him get misunderstood or hurt in small ways breaks my heart every time.
What weighs on me even more is the question I don’t like saying out loud: Who will I leave him with?
Right now, it’s really only me or his dad’s family. I don’t trust just anyone. I don’t feel comfortable dropping him off with people who don’t understand him or who might dismiss his needs as “behavior.” That level of responsibility feels enormous, and it’s isolating.
I love my son more than anything, but loving him also means constantly worrying about his safety, his heart, and whether the world will be gentle with someone who is so open.
I don’t really have answers. I’m just hoping other parents here understand this mix of love, fear, and guilt.
Replies (16)
- Real Ray C: It’s okay not to have all the answers. Parenting isn’t about certainty it’s about showing up scared and loving anyway.
- Charlotte: That means more than you know. Thank you for sharing that perspective.
- JugglingNothing: If it helps at all I didn’t have someone worrying like this when I was young. I had to learn everything the hard way. Your son won’t have to do that alone.
- Eli Mercer: I hope one day he looks back and feels protected, not restricted.
- Eli Mercer: Your son being open doesn’t mean he’s weak. It means he hasn’t learned to armor himself yet. Having someone like you who notices and steps in when needed? That’s huge.
- Real Ray C:
Thank you for saying that. I needed to hear it phrased that way.
- Charlotte: I used to feel ashamed admitting I didn’t trust people with my child. Now I see it as instinct. You’re not isolating him you’re protecting his nervous system and his sense of safety.
- Real Ray C: That guilt feels constant. Like no matter what I do, I should be doing more. Hearing it framed that way helps.
- JugglingNothing: One thing I want to say... the guilt you mention? That’s not because you’re failing. It’s because you care deeply and you’re aware of reality. Loving someone vulnerable does that to a person.
- Charlotte:
That’s one of my biggest fears. I don’t want him to internalize the idea that something is “wrong” with him just because adults don’t understand him.
- Eli Mercer: The part about people calling it “behaviour” really stuck with me. I grew up hearing that word used to dismiss my needs. It still hurts decades later. The fact that you’re protective about who understands him isn’t paranoia, it’s advocacy.
- Charlotte: I’m also a parent, and that question of who will care for them if I can’t lives in the back of my mind constantly. It’s not dramatic, it’s responsible. And it’s incredibly isolating when your circle is small.
- Charlotte: That distinction matters a lot. I don’t want to change who he is; I want to help him stay safe. Sometimes I feel like even thinking about that makes me a bad parent.
- JugglingNothing: I don’t have children either, but I was the “too friendly” kid. I remember assuming everyone meant well and being shocked when they didn’t. What helped me later wasn’t someone taking that kindness away; it was someone teaching me discernment without shame.
- Charlotte: Thank you for saying that. Sometimes I worry that my fear will make me overprotective, but I also don’t want to pretend the world is safer than it is. Hearing from someone who lived that experience helps more than you know.
- Eli Mercer: I don’t have kids, but reading this made my chest tight. The way you describe your son trusting people so easily… that used to be me as a kid. I didn’t understand why being open made other kids uncomfortable or cruel. You’re not wrong to worry, but it also means he has a heart that hasn’t been hardened yet.