Realizing why malls and supermarkets still completely drain me...
By Eli Mercer on
I was trying to figure out why shopping malls and supermarkets still wipe me out, even on days when I’m not rushed or anxious. I’m a woman on the autism spectrum, and for a long time I blamed it on crowds or noise. But recently it clicked for me: sensory overload isn’t just sound or touch, it’s visual too.
The colors, the lights, the branding, the signs everywhere competing for attention. Bright packaging stacked floor to ceiling. Flashing sale signs. Aisles that don’t visually “rest.” My brain is constantly being asked to process everything at once, whether I want to or not.
What’s frustrating is that I can walk in feeling fine and leave feeling exhausted, irritable, or on the verge of shutdown, and I don’t always understand why in the moment. It’s not one thing; it’s the accumulation. My eyes never get a break, and neither does my nervous system.
I think this is why online shopping or smaller, calmer stores feel so much easier for me. It’s not laziness or avoidance. It’s self-preservation. When people say “it’s just a store,” I wish they could feel what it’s like when your senses are always turned up too high.
Learning that visual input counts as sensory input has helped me be kinder to myself. I plan shorter trips, wear sunglasses inside sometimes, and stop pushing myself to “just deal with it.”