Being the big sister and still showing up for my brothers
By Eli Mercer on
I’m the firstborn in my family, and I’m also the only one with autism. I have two younger brothers who aren’t on the spectrum, so growing up sometimes felt like I was living life on a slightly different channel than everyone else.
Even though life can still be overwhelming for me sometimes, I’ve always taken my role as the big sister seriously. I remember my mom telling me when we were younger, “You’re the big one here. Your brothers look up to you.” That stuck with me.
There were moments when I doubted myself. Social stuff is hard for me. Communication can be tricky. Sometimes I overthink everything. But my brothers never made me feel like I was “less.” To them, I’m just their big sister.
And honestly, they treat me like it too. They come to me for advice, they joke with me, and they respect me. It reminds me that having autism doesn’t mean you can’t be someone people rely on.
I won’t pretend it’s always easy. Being autistic and trying to figure out adulthood at the same time is a lot. But one thing I’m proud of is that I’ve always tried to show up for my brothers. Even on days when I feel unsure about myself, I still want to be someone they can look up to.
I guess what I’m saying is this: autism doesn’t cancel your ability to lead, care, or be strong for others. Sometimes the people who think differently end up showing love in the most consistent ways.