Anyone else feel like relationships get harder when no one understands neurodiversity?

Lately I’ve been feeling like relationships especially parenting get a lot heavier when autism isn’t actually understood by the people around you. It’s not just “communication issues.” That’s the part people see. What they don’t see is how much effort it takes just to process things, regulate, and stay present. You can care deeply about your partner or your kids and still come across as distant or “too much” at the same time. And that disconnect builds up. I’ve had moments where I’m genuinely trying, but it still feels like I’m being misunderstood or measured against expectations that don’t fit how my brain works. Then it turns into frustration on both sides, not because anyone is a bad partner or parent, but because we’re operating in completely different ways. What makes it harder is that most support systems don’t really account for this. A lot of couple or family therapy assumes the same emotional language, the same way of expressing things, the same pacing. If you don’t fit that, it can feel like you’re the problem instead of the approach just not working for you. Parenting adds another layer. You’re managing routines, sensory overload, emotional regulation sometimes for both you and your child while still trying to meet expectations that weren’t built with you in mind. That can get exhausting fast. I don’t think the issue is that autistic people struggle with love or connection. It’s that most relationship advice and support systems weren’t designed with neurodiversity in mind. What I wish existed more: 1. Therapists who actually understand autistic communication styles in real life 2. Less pressure to perform emotions in “acceptable” ways 3. Space for different ways of showing care and connection 4. Practical tools instead of just “talk it out” Does anyone else feel this strain in their relationship or parenting? What’s actually helped you especially if you’ve found support that *gets it*?