"We don't do that here" -- and other lies...
By YourChild.org on
Every time I hear another school administrator say "we don't do that here," I want to translate that phrase for what it really means: "We're choosing not to help your child."
These institutional cop-outs aren't just bureaucratic language—they're direct barriers to educational access. When schools claim they lack resources, staff, or willingness to accommodate diverse learning needs, they're essentially telling parents that systemic convenience matters more than individual student potential. This isn't just frustrating—it's fundamentally wrong.
Parents, you have more power than these dismissive statements suggest. Every "we don't" is an opportunity to ask "why not?" and push for concrete solutions. Documentation, persistent communication, understanding your legal rights under IDEA and 504 plans—these are your tools. School systems rely on parents feeling overwhelmed and giving up. Your consistent, strategic advocacy is the counterweight to their institutional inertia.
Replies (4)
- JugglingNothing:
I’ve had more “we don’t do that here” moments than I can count. It’s like they expect you to just walk away. I learned to stop taking it literally and start asking for specifics. “Who makes that decision? Can we explore alternatives?” Puts the ball back in their court and forces accountability. - Eli Mercer:
A teacher said “that’s not in our curriculum” when I asked for support, but once I cited IDEA guidelines, the conversation flipped fast.
- Real Ray C: Here’s the reality: “we don’t do that here” usually means “we don’t want to do that because it’s easier not to.” I’ve started treating it like a challenge. I ask “who can make this happen?” and “what would it take to get there?” Often, they actually do have option they just assume no one will push. Don’t let them off the hook.
- Charlotte: I hear this so often. My strategy now is: stay calm, get it in writing, and ask for alternatives. Sometimes just asking, “If not that, what can we do?” opens doors you didn’t even know existed. Schools count on parents giving up, it’s exhausting, but persistence works.