I don't hate socializing. I just get lost in group conversations

For years, I thought I was bad at talking to people. Whenever I found myself in a group conversation, I'd slowly disappear into the background. It wasn't because I had nothing to contribute. Most of the time, I was following every word and thinking about what I wanted to say. The problem was timing. By the time I found an opening, someone else had already spoken. Then the topic changed. Then three people started talking at once. Then someone made a joke, and everyone moved on while I was still processing the previous point. One-on-one conversations feel completely different. When it's just me and one other person, I can actually focus. I can listen carefully, think through my response, and explore ideas in a way that feels natural. Some of the best conversations I've ever had lasted hours because neither of us was rushing to the next topic. Group conversations often feel like the opposite. Everything moves faster than I can comfortably process. Topics jump around without warning. People interrupt each other. Social cues become harder to track. Instead of enjoying the conversation, I end up trying to keep up with it. The frustrating part is that people often mistake my silence for a lack of interest. In reality, I'm usually paying close attention. Sometimes I'm so focused on understanding what's happening that I don't have enough mental energy left to participate. For a long time, I thought this meant something was wrong with me. Now I realize that I don't struggle because I dislike people. I struggle because my brain works differently in environments that require constant social multitasking. These days, I've stopped forcing myself to be the loudest person in the room. I still prefer meaningful one-on-one conversations. I still enjoy talking about big ideas more than bouncing between five different topics in ten minutes. And I've learned that's okay. Some people feel energized by groups. I feel most connected when a conversation is slow enough for everyone to actually be heard.