When they’ve changed, but the pain remains — how do you forgive?

I didn’t grow up in a perfect family. My dad was abusive, often drunk, and mostly absent. My mum held us together, raising me and my younger sister through it all; I’ll always be grateful for her.

By the time my sister was born, she experienced the worst of him in ways I had already survived. The pain she carries hasn’t healed.

My father got older, found Jesus, and reconciled with my mum. They’re okay now. But my sister refuses to forgive him.

I get it. Forgiveness isn’t easy. It’s not flipping a switch. Some wounds are deep and take time maybe a lifetime. But I keep wondering… how long do you hold onto anger? How do you heal without it consuming you?

I don’t want to force her to forgive. I just hope one day she can find peace not for him, but for herself.