If My Daughter Were 12 and Struggling With Her Weight, I Wouldn’t Make Her Feel Like She Was Failing Me*

As a mother, I’d never want my 12-year-old daughter to grow up believing her weight determines her worth or how much I love her. Before putting her on a diet, I’d want to understand what’s actually going on. I’d talk with her pediatrician about her growth, nutrition, sleep, activity, medications, and overall health. At home, I’d focus on healthy habits for the whole family. We could cook together, keep fruits and vegetables she enjoys around, walk the dog, ride bikes, or simply spend more time outside. I wouldn’t say, “You need to exercise because you need to lose weight.” I’d say, “Come on, let’s go for a walk.” There’s a big difference between helping a child develop healthy habits and making them feel like their body is a problem. Kids are still allowed to enjoy pizza, birthday cake, and their favorite foods without being made to feel guilty. If a child is struggling with weight, should parents focus more on the number on the scale or the child’s overall health and habits?