I really don’t know why the people I care about the most seem to care the least
By Eli Mercer on
I don’t really know how else to say this, but it hurts the most when it’s the people you’d drop everything for who barely notice when you’re struggling.
Lately, I’ve been realizing how often I check in on others, remember their important days, listen when they vent, and try to show up however I can. But when I’m the one having a hard time, it’s like I disappear. Messages go unanswered. Plans fall through. “Let me know if you need anything” turns into silence the moment I actually do.
There was a moment recently that really hit me. I finally worked up the courage to say I wasn’t doing well, not in a dramatic way, just honestly. The response I got was basically a shrug. A change of subject. And that was it. No follow-up. No checking back in. I keep replaying it in my head, wondering if I said too much or not enough, or if I just expected too much from the wrong people.
Depression already tells you that you don’t matter. When the people you care about seem indifferent, it feels like proof. I know that’s probably not the whole truth, but when you’re in this headspace, it’s hard not to believe it.