I’m exhausted from caring so much and still doing nothing

Every night I tell myself that tomorrow is the day I finally lock in. I make study plans. I organize my tabs. I watch productivity videos. I convince myself I’m about to turn everything around. Then the next day comes and somehow I still can’t start. That’s the part that’s messing with me mentally. It’s not that I don’t care about school anymore. I care too much. Every assignment feels tied to whether I’m failing at life or not, so instead of motivating me, it just makes me freeze. A few days ago I opened my grades portal for the first time in a while and instantly felt my stomach drop. Seeing the numbers made me feel worse, which then made me avoid studying even more. It’s like I’m stuck in this cycle where depression kills my motivation, and then falling behind makes the depression worse. And honestly, watching time pass while you’re fully aware you’re wasting it is one of the worst feelings ever. I see other students keeping up with classes, deadlines, internships, and social lives and somehow functioning like normal people while I’m struggling to do one productive thing without mentally checking out after 20 minutes. Lately I’ve been trying to stop thinking in extremes. I keep fantasizing about disappearing for a month and coming back completely changed, but realistically that mindset just makes me feel more overwhelmed. So now I’m trying to focus on smaller things instead. One chapter. One assignment. One decent day. I don’t know if anyone else here deals with this mix of depression, burnout, and procrastination, but it honestly feels like your brain is fighting you every step of the way.