Meeting new people feels like running a marathon I didn’t train for

Before anything even happens, my brain is already spiraling rehearsing introductions, worrying about sounding awkward, debating whether I should cancel. When I do go, I look fine on the outside, but inside my heart is racing and I’m overthinking every word, every pause, every reaction.

Small talk feels forced and exhausting. I’m listening, but also judging myself in real time. Then afterward, I replay everything I said and convince myself I messed up, even when nothing actually went wrong.

I want connection and friendships, but social anxiety makes something simple feel overwhelming. Just sharing this to remind myself (and maybe someone else) that we’re not alone.