I think my hallucination used a memory I had forgotten
By Eli Mercer on
During one of my episodes, I was dealing with frightening religious delusions and believed the devil was inside my head. While staying at my mom’s house, I heard voices mentioning Emperor Nero. One claimed to be Nero, and then I heard singing in my head.
What confused me was how specific it all was. I had no idea why Nero or singing had suddenly become part of what I was experiencing.
Later, while playing Persona, I came across a classroom question about Nero being known for singing. That was when something clicked. I realized I had probably seen that information before and forgotten about it.
Now I wonder if my mind picked up that old detail and mixed it with the religious fears I was already having. It still doesn’t explain everything, but it helped me recognize that the voice may have been recycling something from my memory not revealing a message I needed to believe or follow.
Have your hallucinations or delusions ever included something you later recognized from a game, movie, book, or conversation? Did realizing where it came from help you feel more grounded?