If I never tasted it…Something my dad usually said
By Charlotte on
My dad once told me that the regret shows up in quiet moments. Late at night. Sitting alone. Watching life move forward.
He said sometimes he thinks, “What if I never tasted it in the first place?”
He remembers the first time. It didn’t feel dramatic. It didn’t feel dangerous. He didn’t even love it. What he loved was the relief. The way it made his mind go quiet. The way it softened everything he’d been carrying for years.
He said he wasn’t chasing the high. He was chasing peace. He never thought it would take over. He thought he was stronger than that. Until one day it wasn’t about wanting it anymore; it was about needing it.
He’s honest about what it cost him. Jobs. Trust. Time. Pieces of himself. He said the hardest part was looking in the mirror and not recognizing who he’d become. But he also said regret doesn’t have to be a life sentence.
He told me he can’t untaste it. He can’t go back. But he can choose what he does today. He can show up now. He can be honest now. He can rebuild now.
“I can’t change how it started,” he said. “But I can decide how it ends.” If you’re stuck in that “what if,” you’re not alone. The regret is real. But it doesn’t have to be the end of your story.