Our Evenings of Echoes: Supporting My Child’s Verbal Stimming
By Charlotte on
When the sun sets, our son's voice becomes the soundtrack of our home. He doesn't speak in conventional sentences, but his unique language fills every corner with life. He repeats sounds, phrases, or even the last word he heard on his favourite TV show.
Sometimes, it's just a jubilant string of syllables that dance in the air. It's a symphony that's loud, rhythmic, and beautifully unpredictable.
At first, I didn't understand this melody. I tried to quiet him, worried about the whispers from the other side of the walls. But as time danced on, I realised he's not creating this rhythm to disturb anyone. He's doing it to soothe himself, to make sense of a day that was too bright, too noisy, too challenging. He's finding his rhythm in a world that sometimes feels like a chaotic dance floor.
We've learned to dance along with him, finding ways to support him that resonate with his rhythm and ours:
🔴 We've created a safe dance floor where he can stim freely without judgment.
🔴 We use soft music in the evenings to help him wind down, like a gentle lullaby after a day of dancing.
🔴 We've learned to respond with calmness, refraining from shushing or scolding, and instead joining his dance.
🔴 We've learned to see this as his unique way of communicating, even if we don't always understand the lyrics.
Some nights, the dance can be long. He might get stuck on a phrase for hours, like a record on repeat. We don't always know the right steps. But he deserves a safe dance floor, comfort, and respect.
To all the parents and caregivers out there dancing to their unique rhythm. It can be a challenging dance, but it's also a beautiful one. Let's share our dance moves without shame. How do you help your child feel safe to dance to their own rhythm?
Replies (21)
- Charlotte:
Agreed. I feel less alone reading your stories and ideas. Thanks for joining this dance with me. 💙
- Eli Mercer:
This kind of post is everything. When we open up about our real experiences, it reminds us we’re not alone and that’s powerful. We learn, grow, and find new ways to support each other. It’s what makes these conversations so valuable.
- Charlotte:
I hadn’t thought of that! That might be a good idea to experiment with. Thanks for the tip.
- JugglingNothing:
That reminds me have you tried recording those phrases for him to play back? Sometimes hearing their own voice can help regulate stimming.
- Eli Mercer:
I bet those familiar lines are anchors in the chaos. My brother had a phrase from an old show he’d repeat, and when he was upset, hearing it calmed him immediately.
- Charlotte:
That’s such a great question! He loves repeating lines from his favorite cartoons especially the ones with funny voices or catchy sounds. It’s like those familiar sounds wrap around him like a cozy blanket, and I can tell they comfort him. It’s his little way of feeling safe and connected.
- Real Ray C:
Have you found any particular phrases or sounds that seem to comfort your son more than others?
- Charlotte:
That breaks my heart, Miles. Nobody should ever feel punished just for trying to cope the best way they know how. It makes me want to speak up even louder for more kindness and understanding.
- JugglingNothing:
Absolutely, Eli. I once got in trouble for “making too much noise” at school when I was humming to calm down. It hurt. Posts like this help break down that stigma.
- Eli Mercer:
Yes! That “without judgment” part hit home for me. Society piles so much pressure on what “normal” communication should look like, it’s easy to forget that all kinds of expression are totally valid and meaningful.
- Charlotte:
That’s wise. I’m learning to resist the urge to stop him. Sometimes I just sit nearby and let him lead. It’s about respect, like you said.
- Real Ray C:
Eli, to answer your question, yes, it’s tricky! Sometimes we join the “dance,” and sometimes we just quietly let her be. It depends on the moment. The key is not trying to rush or silence her
- JugglingNothing:
I always tell people that stimming is not a behavior to fix but a way to cope. It’s like his brain’s thermostat for stress.
- Eli Mercer:
Yes! The balance is hard. Sometimes I just want the noise gone, but then I remind myself that his stimming is part of his communication. I try to watch for when it’s joyful versus when he might be stressed.
- Charlotte:
Thanks, Miles. It’s crazy how something that feels overwhelming can be a source of comfort for them. Your parents’ frustration makes me think about how much education is still needed.
- Real Ray C:
I mean, noise-canceling headphones sound like a lifesaver. I’ve been thinking about getting a pair for our son, too, especially when the neighbors get loud. Do you ever find it hard to give him his space, but still join in on his “dance” when he wants company
- Real Ray C:
Thanks, Miles. It’s crazy how something that feels overwhelming can be a source of comfort for them. Your parents’ frustration makes me think about how much education is still needed.
- Real Ray C:
Eli, that’s so relatable. I used to feel guilty when I wanted quiet, but learning that music could help both him and me was a game-changer. I’m glad your brother had that support.
- Real Ray C:
This resonates with me. My niece has verbal stims too, and sometimes it feels endless. What’s helped us is having noise-canceling headphones handy for her and finding quiet activities she loves after her stimming sessions. It’s all about respect and patience.
- JugglingNothing:
I love your metaphor of a dance floor. That paints the picture. I remember my parents getting frustrated with my repetitive humming, but they never realized it was how I calmed myself after a long day. Creating a safe space sounds so essential.
- Eli Mercer:
Charlotte, thank you for sharing this so openly. It hit home. My younger brother used to stim by repeating words from cartoons for hours. At first, I thought it was just an annoying noise, but later I realized it was his way of dealing with overwhelm. We started playing soft music for him, too, and it helped calm the house down.