Things I’ve learned communicating with son (Hope this helps another parent out there)
By Charlotte on
When he was younger, I could never understand why trips to Target ended in meltdowns. One day he covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut and said, “It’s too much.” That was when I finally slowed down and realized the lights, the noise, the smells everything I barely noticedn were overwhelming for him.
I also learned that vague language didn’t work. If I said, “We’re leaving soon,” he’d panic. But “We’re leaving in 10 minutes” gave him clarity and calm. Simple adjustments made huge differences.
Stimming was another turning point. He rocks, taps, and moves when he needs to regulate. In the beginning, I tried to get him to “stay still” because I worried about people staring. Now I know better, stimming keeps him grounded, so I let him be himself.
Clothing was a similar lesson. He could only wear one specific type of shirt and underwear, and I used to fight it. But after one meltdown over a shirt tag, I finally understood that comfort isn’t optional for him. I stopped pushing and started buying what works.
And during meltdowns, I learned that less is more. Talking too much overwhelmed him. The first time I just sat with him and said, “I’m here,” he actually calmed down faster. Sometimes presence speaks louder than words.
He may communicate differently, but he understands so much. Once, after a hard day, he said, “I don’t know why my head is loud,” and it reminded me he’s navigating things I’ll never fully feel. My job is to meet him where he is.