Is anyone else in constant burnout from masking?
By JugglingNothing on
I’m an autistic guy in my early 30s with a regular office/tech job. Most days start the same way: I wake up already tired, get ready, and tell myself to just get through the day.
At work, I’m “on” the entire time. In meetings I watch my face, my tone, when to nod, when to speak. I force small talk. I ignore the noise and the constant pings. I try to look engaged on Slack even when my brain feels fried. Nobody notices anything is wrong, which I guess means the masking is working.
By the time I get home, I’m completely empty. I sit in silence, scroll, or stare at the wall longer than I want to admit. I don’t have energy for hobbies or people. Then I go to sleep and do it again.
The frustrating part is that from the outside, my life looks fine. If I say I’m burned out, I get told “that’s just being an adult” or “everyone’s tired.” As a guy, it feels like I’m supposed to just push through and not talk about it.
I keep wondering when this started feeling normal. I don’t remember the last time I felt rested just less exhausted than usual.