By SamAxe on
I’m feeling a little emotional this morning and decided to share something personal.
For a long time, I didn’t think I’d ever have that kind of best friend — the one who checks in just to see how you’re doing, wants to spend time with you for no reason, and genuinely cares without expecting anything in return.
Friendship never came easy for me. It always felt like everyone else had learned some social language that I somehow missed. I’d say things at the wrong time, laugh when no one else did, or get stuck talking about something I loved — and suddenly the vibe would shift. People would get uncomfortable. Then distant. Then gone.
Over time, that pattern started to hurt more deeply than I realized. I began to think maybe I was just too much. Too weird. Too complicated to really connect with.
But I never fully gave up on the idea that maybe, somewhere out there, someone might get me — without needing me to explain or tone myself down.
And slowly, that started to happen. Not all at once, and definitely not perfectly. But I began to meet people who stayed. Who listened. Who didn’t make me feel like I had to change who I was to be worth knowing.
Now I finally understand what real friendship feels like. It’s not about always being easy. It’s about being seen, understood, and still accepted.
And for the first time, I truly feel that. And I’m grateful.
Replies (8)
- Eli Mercer:
Y’all are making me emotional this morning. It’s wild how much silence we carry until someone opens up like Sam did. Then suddenly we all realise… we’ve been feeling the same things.
- Charlotte:
What hurts the most is how quietly it happens. One day you’re in the group chat, the next day no one replies. The slow fade is worse than a clean break sometimes.
- JugglingNothing:
Yes, Jay! And when people leave, they rarely explain why. It’s like you’re left to guess what part of yourself was “too much” this time. It’s exhausting.
- Real Ray C:
That “social language” line, I felt that deeply. It really did feel like everyone had been given a manual that I never got. I kept blaming myself for not knowing the rules.
- Eli Mercer:
Sam… this is beautiful. I remember once someone told me I was “hard work” to be friends with, and I carried that shame for so long. Hearing your story made me feel less broken.
- Charlotte:
This made me tear up. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve wondered if I was fundamentally unlovable just because I didn’t “click” with people the way others seem to. You’re not alone, Sam.
- JugglingNothing:
Sam, thank you for sharing this. I think more people feel this way than they admit. I used to rehearse entire conversations in my head just to avoid saying the “wrong” thing… and even then, I’d mess it up.
- Real Ray C:
Wow, Sam. This really hit me. I felt like I was reading my own journal. That feeling of being "too much", I’ve carried that for years. Thank you for putting it into words.