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This week, two women told me they weren’t sure if I was interested, which genuinely surprised me. From my perspective, I was consistent: replying, asking questions, remembering details, and suggesting we meet. One woman and I talked daily for about five weeks. I initiated most conversations and brought up meeting a few times, but it never really progressed unless I pushed. When I finally asked about the lack of initiative, she said she didn’t think I was that interested. Another woman asked if I

This year, I’m trying to be more intentional about how I connect with my girlfriend, and one idea I keep coming back to is doing more movie dates. Not just as a filler activity, but as something we actually build into our routine. For me, movie dates feel… manageable. There’s a clear structure: you sit together, you watch something, you don’t have to constantly talk or perform. There’s shared experience without pressure. I like knowing what’s coming next, how long it will last, and what the expe

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, especially after reading so many posts where people talk about “red flags” like they’re always obvious and easy to spot. In real life, I don’t think they are. Sometimes you only recognize them in hindsight. When you’re dating, the phrase "love is blind" feels very real. You want to believe in the good. You want to extend grace. You tell yourself everyone has flaws, and you don’t want to be too harsh or unrealistic. At the same time, love is also suppos

My boyfriend’s birthday is on January 1st (yes… literally New Year’s Day), and I want to get him something thoughtful without overthinking myself into a spiral. I care a lot about making people feel seen through gifts, but I sometimes struggle to tell whether an idea is genuinely meaningful or just sounds good in my head. He’s the kind of person who appreciates intention more than flash. He notices small details, likes practical things, and doesn’t love being the center of attention especially w

It took me years to really understand this, and I wish someone had spelled it out for me sooner especially as someone on the autism spectrum. If you’re reading this, please hear me: do not lower your standards to make someone else comfortable. Not in dating, not in friendships, not in any relationship. Your standards aren’t “too much”, they’re how you stay safe, regulated, and emotionally healthy. I don’t need constant texting or instant replies, but going silent for days without explanation doe

Texting feels like the main way people stay connected. Everyone has a phone, everyone is busy, and quick messages are often how friendships are maintained. I care deeply about my friends and family, but when I don’t text or take a long time to reply, it isn’t because I don’t value them. Communication takes real effort for me, especially with the unspoken expectations around how fast to respond and what a message is supposed to sound like. Texting is usually described as easy, but I often overthi

Dating is complicated for almost everyone, but I’ve learned that it can feel especially confusing if you’re autistic or living with a disability. I have dated, struggled, learned the hard way, and eventually married an autistic man. One thing I noticed early on in dating is how much people perform. In the early stages, many people present a polished version of themselves. They say the “right” things, mirror your interests, and avoid showing discomfort. That makes it very hard to actually know wh

My friend has been dating his girlfriend for almost two years. They’re both autistic, and while they care about each other, the relationship has been getting harder for him emotionally and mentally. He wasn’t dealing with cheating or fights or anything dramatic just a constant communication mismatch that left him exhausted. Every conversation felt like a puzzle with missing pieces, and every time he tried to bring up an issue, it turned into a marathon of questions, explanations, and “what if I

I’ve said countless times that women can feel hard to understand, especially when you’re trying to figure out how to approach us in person. But honestly, most of us aren’t as complicated as we seem it’s usually about timing, respect, and reading the energy the right way. As a woman, here’s the truth: we don’t mind being approached when it’s done with confidence, kindness, and zero pressure. What makes us uncomfortable is when a guy comes on too strong, doesn’t read social cues, or tries to force

The other day I read about how a certain CEO cheated on his wife, and it really got me thinking. I honestly believe a lot of divorces and breakups in general are born out of unfaithfulness. It’s one of those things that hits harder than you expect, even when you think you’re prepared for anything. I remember dating a girl who cheated on me a lot. Looking back, there were signs, but when you’re in love, you convince yourself you’re just overthinking. That heartbreak hit me like a truck because I

Last month was honestly kinda epic for me, and I just wanted to share because I’m still riding the little victory high. So… I had a date with this beautiful girl. And as an autistic guy, the big boss battle for me on dates has always been eye contact. It’s like my brain just refuses. Either I stare too hard and look like I’m trying to read her soul, or I avoid it completely and end up looking at the table like it’s giving me instructions. But this time… something clicked? When we met, I told mys

Human relationships are hard enough to navigate without neurodivergent issues, but here we are. I mean just look at the chaos that is the dating science; the impossible images that Hollywood presents and even the attempt that most churches make to regulate or smooth this troubled area. Our society has blurred the lines of relationships to where a lot of us can’t tell where friendship ends and romance begins - even half of all marriages end in divorce where the ‘rules’ of forever were well define

I have been dating a guy for 2 months and something he said really bothered me. We were talking about relationships and loyalty. He told me a story about a friend who cheated, and instead of calling the cheating wrong, he said the guy was lonely and stressed basically justifying it. Then he added that it’s “in men’s nature to want multiple partners” and that men sometimes cheat because they don’t know how to express their struggles. I told him that sounded like excuses for cheating, but he kept

My boyfriend and I live close just a 15-minute drive but we stay in touch throughout the day. We’ve built a habit of sending each other photos. Simple, everyday stuff: a quick selfie, what we’re wearing, what we’re doing, something random that made us laugh. Nothing risky or inappropriate. Sharing photos helps me feel connected. When words feel complicated or too heavy, pictures let me express myself without overthinking. Seeing his face or his day in real time makes me feel grounded in the rela

I dated someone for almost two years who, looking back, never really gave anything to the relationship not emotionally, not financially, not even effort. She had a job, but somehow everything still fell on me. Every meal, every outing, every bill I covered it all. At first, I didn’t see it as a big deal. I cared about her, and I thought helping was just part of being supportive. But over time, it started feeling one-sided. She never offered to contribute, never planned anything, never checked in

I used to think I was asking for too much. A text back. A little reassurance. A consistent tone. The same warmth I tried to give. But some people will make you believe that the bare minimum is a luxury that your need for clarity, consistency, or kindness means you’re “too sensitive,” “too intense,” or “too much.” I’ve learned that’s not love. That’s emotional starvation dressed up as connection. If someone truly wants to be in your life, they won’t make you feel like you’re demanding oxygen just

So here’s a small confession I’ve never used a dating app. Not once. Every time someone mentions Bumble, Hinge, or Tinder, I freeze up a little. It’s not even fear of rejection, it’s more like… I don’t know how people do it. The constant swiping, messaging, pretending to sound effortlessly cool, it all feels like a game I was never taught to play. I’m not against meeting people, I just prefer connections that happen naturally — like through shared spaces or random conversations that actually mea

So here’s the thing I’ve never been great at figuring out where friendship ends and something deeper begins. Maybe it’s an autistic thing, maybe it’s just me. I tend to take people’s words literally, assume kindness means kindness, and don’t read between the lines very well. But sometimes… it’s not that simple, is it? There was this guy one of my closest friends. We talked every day. Shared memes. Sent random photos of our meals. Stayed up until 2 a.m. talking about everything and nothing. I kep

I’ve been thinking about love a lot lately not the movie kind, but the real, messy, painful kind. I’ve seen so many of my friends men and women get completely wrecked by love. They fall so hard, give everything, and then end up broken, confused, or feeling like they’ll never trust anyone again. And honestly… it’s terrifying. When you experience that kind of heartbreak yourself and you watch people you care about go through it too, something inside you starts to harden. You start building quiet w

In my first relationship, I was still just a young girl. We were figuring out life, love, and everything in between but honestly, we were too immature to handle what a real relationship needed. It was all emotions and no direction. Eventually, we fell apart, and that breakup left a mark that I didn’t understand until much later. About six months later, I met Dino, an Asian American guy. To kid you not, Dino was handsome, charming, and disciplined but he was also a perfectionist. Everything had t

When I was younger, I thought dating was a numbers game. Meet enough women, and eventually the “perfect one” would show up. I chased looks, charm, and excitement but I was chasing an idea, not a real person. For a while, I compared everything one woman’s laugh, another’s smile trying to figure out who fit me best. But when you’re focused on perfection, you miss what really matters: honesty, kindness, and peace. Then I met her. Not at a bar or through an app just a normal day that turned into som

Back in college, my friend Andrew was completely taken with a blonde girl from his literature class. For weeks, he talked about her how kind her voice sounded, how she smiled when she got nervous, how she seemed to make the world quiet for a moment. Andrew is autistic, and while he’s one of the most genuine people I know, dating always felt like walking through fog. Every step came with questions: What’s the right thing to say? Did I make too much eye contact? Was that joke too much? When she fi

For so long, it felt impossible to believe that anyone could truly love me not with the insecurities, the meltdowns, the quiet retreats, and the overwhelming moments that come with being autistic. I carried the weight of feeling like I was both too much and never enough. Then came Dalton.Through his actions, not just his words, he’s shown me that love isn’t about “fixing” me it’s about seeing me. He sacrifices in ways I never thought someone would. He stands beside me when my voice feels small.

The other night, something small happened that felt huge, the kind of moment that might seem ordinary to others, but for me, it was unforgettable. My girlfriend and I went for a quiet evening walk, just before sundown. The world felt softer at that time of day less crowded, less noisy, easier for me to breathe. Usually, when things get unpredictable, I freeze up or pull away. Change and spontaneity can feel overwhelming. But this time was different. At one point, I accidentally bumped into her w

I used to think a long-distance relationship might actually suit me. Typing out my thoughts gave me space to process. Scheduled calls meant I could prepare, not be caught off guard. For a while, it worked, she told me my texts felt like handwritten letters, and I felt understood in a way I rarely do face-to-face.But distance has a way of amplifying what we need most. She craved spontaneous video calls and bursts of affection. I needed time to transition, to get ready for the intensity of real-ti

I vividly recall the first time James visited my tiny apartment. He came bearing a grocery bag with three thoughtful items: chamomile tea, gluten-free muffins (playing it safe in case I was gluten-intolerant), and a puzzle featuring a fox in the snow. At twenty-six, I had spent years believing no one would ever truly see me. Not the rehearsed version I portrayed on dates, but the real me: a woman who flaps her hands when excited, needs hours of solitude, and isn't always sure what love should lo

When my husband and I first moved in together, I had this dreamy picture of what our nights would look like. We’d brush our teeth side by side. Whisper silly things as we get under the covers. Drift off spooning while whispering “I love you” in the dark. But reality was… different. He didn’t want to talk at night, not even a little bit. He needed silence, dim lights, and time alone to unwind. He was particular about the texture of our sheets and needed the room to be exactly the right temperatur

I’m feeling a little emotional this morning and decided to share something personal. For a long time, I didn’t think I’d ever have that kind of best friend — the one who checks in just to see how you’re doing, wants to spend time with you for no reason, and genuinely cares without expecting anything in return. Friendship never came easy for me. It always felt like everyone else had learned some social language that I somehow missed. I’d say things at the wrong time, laugh when no one else did, o

Thank you 🥂😎

Hi, I’m Harris. I live on the New York and Connecticut border. I’m always interested in making new friends and dating. I work full-time. I love cars, fishing, baseball, bowling, dogs, and spending time with friends and family. Message me.

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