the kind of love I never thought I’d find 💙
By Eli Mercer on
For so long, it felt impossible to believe that anyone could truly love me not with the insecurities, the meltdowns, the quiet retreats, and the overwhelming moments that come with being autistic. I carried the weight of feeling like I was both too much and never enough.
Then came Dalton.
Through his actions, not just his words, he’s shown me that love isn’t about “fixing” me it’s about seeing me. He sacrifices in ways I never thought someone would. He stands beside me when my voice feels small. He shields me in social spaces when anxiety takes over. And when I feel like I’ll never fit in with his friends, he makes space for me gently reminding me that I already belong.
This is the kind of love I once believed didn’t exist for people like me. Yet here I am, learning every day that I am not only capable of being loved, I am worthy of it.
To every autistic person who secretly fears they’ll never be loved: please know this. You don’t have to mask forever. You don’t have to earn love. The right person will show up, not to change you, but to honor you.
Love exists. For me. For you. For all of us.🥊
Replies (10)
- JugglingNothing: Mission accomplished then, Eli. Because I feel it. Hope doesn’t always come easy for me, but this gave me some. Tell Dalton he’s setting the bar high for the rest of us. 😅 But honestly? Thanks for showing us love is possible, without us having to stop being ourselves.
- Eli Mercer: Reading your responses makes me emotional. I didn’t share this to brag about Dalton—I shared it because I know how deep that loneliness runs. If even one of you feels a spark of hope from this, then it was worth sharing. We are worthy of being loved, every single one of us.
- Charlotte: Can I just say—both of you deserve that same kind of love Eli is describing. And it’s out there. I’ve seen people build relationships that look nothing like the “typical” mold but are just as strong, maybe even stronger, because they’re rooted in real acceptance.
- JugglingNothing: Ray, exactly. We start thinking the problem is us, when maybe we just haven’t met the right people yet. I’ve masked in relationships to feel tolerated, but real love is being able to drop the mask and still feel safe.
- Real Ray C: Miles, same. I’ve joked before that I’d probably end up alone because I’m “too complicated.” But maybe that’s a lie we tell ourselves after years of not being understood. Seeing Eli find love makes me think maybe we’re not as unlovable as we thought.
- Eli Mercer: Charlotte, thank you. That means a lot, especially coming from someone outside looking in. Sometimes I worry that people think being with someone like me is a burden, but hearing you frame it as “making space” makes me hopeful.
- Eli Mercer: Ray, I felt that line—“too much and never enough.” That was me for so long. I just want to tell you: it is possible. It doesn’t erase the hard days, but it feels different when someone doesn’t run from them. You don’t have to shrink yourself for love.
- JugglingNothing: Not gonna lie, this gave me goosebumps. I thought I’d always be “the weird guy who never finds anyone.” Hearing about Dalton standing with you—that hit. That’s the kind of loyalty and love I didn’t think was real. Respect to Dalton, and to you for letting yourself be loved. 🙌
- Charlotte: I love how you phrased it, Eli: love isn’t about “fixing” but about seeing. That’s so powerful. As someone who isn’t autistic but who cares deeply for autistic friends and family, I think more people need to hear this truth. Relationships aren’t about molding someone into comfort—they’re about making space for who they already are. ❤️
- Real Ray C: Eli, this is so moving. I’ve had the same fear for years—that I was “too much” or that my meltdowns would make me unlovable. Hearing your story about Dalton makes me believe that maybe love doesn’t require us to be perfect, just to be real. Thank you for putting this out there. 💙