Some first dates end with a kiss...

Back in college, my friend Andrew was completely taken with a blonde girl from his literature class. For weeks, he talked about her how kind her voice sounded, how she smiled when she got nervous, how she seemed to make the world quiet for a moment.

Andrew is autistic, and while he’s one of the most genuine people I know, dating always felt like walking through fog. Every step came with questions: What’s the right thing to say? Did I make too much eye contact? Was that joke too much?

When she finally agreed to go out with him, he was thrilled. He planned every detail, practiced conversation starters, even rehearsed how to sit still at the table. The date went beautifully laughter, shared fries, stories about favorite books.

At the end of the night, under the soft glow of the parking lot lights, she leaned in and kissed him. It wasn’t long or dramatic, just a quiet, gentle moment. He texted me later, “I think this was the best day of my life.”

What stayed with me wasn’t the kiss, it was everything that led up to it. The build-up, the tension, the uncertainty. It made me realize how much pressure there is around the “first kiss” and how differently people experience it.

Personally, I don’t always want to kiss on a first date. For some especially those who are autistic, physical closeness takes time. Trust and comfort don’t always arrive as fast as attraction. Sometimes, a shared smile or an easy conversation can mean just as much as a kiss.