Someone texting feels overwhelming but friendships still matter
By Eli Mercer on
Texting feels like the main way people stay connected. Everyone has a phone, everyone is busy, and quick messages are often how friendships are maintained. I care deeply about my friends and family, but when I don’t text or take a long time to reply, it isn’t because I don’t value them. Communication takes real effort for me, especially with the unspoken expectations around how fast to respond and what a message is supposed to sound like.
Texting is usually described as easy, but I often overthink what to say. I’ll draft a message, second-guess it, and tell myself I’ll respond later. Then hours or days pass, and I feel guilty for not replying sooner. That guilt can make reaching out feel even harder, even though I still want connection.
I’m learning that friendships don’t need constant conversation to be real. A short message still matters, even if it comes after some time. In a culture where everyone is juggling work, school, and stress, imperfect communication is still communication.
I’m still figuring this out. I’m trying, even when it doesn’t look like much from the outside. If you have an autistic friend who goes quiet sometimes, please know it doesn’t mean they don’t care. And if you’re autistic and struggling with texting like I am, you’re not alone.