What level of effort are men actually expected to show?
By JugglingNothing on
This week, two women told me they weren’t sure if I was interested, which genuinely surprised me. From my perspective, I was consistent: replying, asking questions, remembering details, and suggesting we meet.
One woman and I talked daily for about five weeks. I initiated most conversations and brought up meeting a few times, but it never really progressed unless I pushed. When I finally asked about the lack of initiative, she said she didn’t think I was that interested.
Another woman asked if I wanted a phone call later. I said, “Yeah, that should be fine.” I assumed we’d confirm a time. We didn’t, and later she told me she felt more interested than I was.
I tend to take things literally and assume interest should look somewhat balanced both people initiating and following through. I show interest by being consistent and respectful, not by chasing or constantly escalating when things feel unclear.
So I’m honestly asking: what does “showing interest” look like to most people early on? Is it expected that men always lead and follow up, even when responses are neutral or vague?
I’m trying to figure out if this is just a communication mismatch or something I need to adjust.