I am dating but why does it always feel one-sided?

I’m autistic, and communication is already something I have to be intentional about. So when I’m in a relationship, I try to be clear, consistent, and present. But right now, it feels like I’m the only one doing that.

I’m always the one calling. I check in. I ask how her day was. Most of the time, she doesn’t call me back. She doesn’t initiate conversations. The only time my phone lights up with her name is when she needs something from me. And honestly? That hurts more than I know how to explain.

From her side, she says I’m “chasing” and that it makes her feel pressured. From my side, it feels like I’m trying to keep a connection alive that’s slowly dying. I don’t know where the line is between “showing interest” and “being too much,” and no one ever gives you a clear rulebook for that especially when you’re autistic and already second-guessing social cues. What’s really messing with me is the imbalance. I’m putting in effort, time, emotional energy and it doesn’t feel mutual. It feels one-sided. Like I’m auditioning for a role I already thought I had.

I’m not trying to be clingy. I’m not trying to control anyone. I just want reciprocity. I want someone who actually wants to talk to me, not someone who remembers I exist only when it’s convenient.