At some point, putting in effort just starts to feel pointless...
By JugglingNothing on
After being ghosted, ignored, or slowly faded on enough times, it’s hard to stay motivated. You try to show interest, be consistent, plan things, communicate clearly and it still goes nowhere. Or you realize too late that the other person was never really interested in you to begin with.
Dating has been especially exhausting for me because people seem to clock that I’m “different” pretty quickly. I don’t know if it’s my eye contact, my tone, my expressions, or the way I answer questions, but something shifts. Conversations start fine, then suddenly I’m getting shorter replies, mixed signals, or silence.
I’m tired of being the one who initiates everything. Tired of trying to read between the lines. Tired of feeling like I’m only valued for what I can provide, not who I am. People say “just be yourself,” but when being yourself keeps leading to rejection, it’s hard not to internalize that something is wrong with you.
I don’t think anyone owes me attraction. I’m not angry at women. I’m just worn down. Dating feels less like connection and more like another reminder that I’m always on the outside, trying to figure out rules everyone else seems to know already.