How do I approach this relationship without turning it into a survival plan?

I was born and raised in the U.S., but my family is very involved in my life and deeply invested in what they see as “stability.” Lately, they’ve been encouraging me to seriously consider marriage. The woman they’ve suggested is impressive by any standard, she’s almost finished with medical school and on track to become a doctor.

On paper, everything looks ideal. She’s driven, successful, and secure. My family sees this as a smart, responsible move and keeps emphasizing how “set” my future would be. Logically, I understand their point. But emotionally and mentally, I’m struggling.

Because of how my autistic brain works, I tend to overanalyze motives—mine and everyone else’s. I worry that if I enter this relationship under pressure, I won’t be able to tell whether I’m choosing it because I genuinely want it or because it feels like the “right” thing to do. Once something starts feeling transactional or goal-oriented, I lose my sense of grounding.

I don’t want to see a partner as a checklist item or a life upgrade. I want connection, mutual choice, and honesty. I also don’t want to resent her or myself later for stepping into something before I fully understood my own boundaries and needs.

For other autistic folks: how do you navigate relationships when family expectations are loud and logic starts drowning out your own feelings? How do you slow things down enough to make sure you’re choosing a relationship for the right reasons?

I’m not opposed to commitment. I just want to enter it as myself, not as a version of me shaped by pressure.